Patience.

Patience – pa·tience

[pey-shuhns] noun

 

1. the quality of being patient,  as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.

 

……..Something I have an extremely hard time doing- and yet it’s something that I am daily reminding my 5 year old that he needs to have. How do I teach my son to do something that I myself struggle with time and time again. Lately, I feel like my patience is being thinning out. Why? Is it stress? Is it the lack of WANTING to be patient (the immature part of me of course)…. I can’t even answer that for myself. I can name 5 people just off the top of my head that seem to ALWAYS be patient. The worst situations, and they don’t even break a sweat, while I’m counting to 10 in my head reminding myself that I am an adult and I can do it. One of life’s many lessons, that we will all answer in our own ways I suppose……

Grrr.

Brave Little Boy!

Well, it is official. My son is growing up way too fast. This last weekend he spent the weekend up in Monterey/Hollister/Gilroy with his dad and auntie for the Laguna Seca Races and to go ride dirt bikes. And yes- my son at FIVE years old- with NO training wheels is up and going on a dirt bike all by himself! Took him two laps to learn, then he finished the last 20 by himself!!

I am definitely one thankful momma that he is athletic and catches on quickly- but also frightened at just HOW fast he catches on! haha. Some awesome pictures from the event Proud Momma right here! Looks like I know what he’s asking for, for Christmas! lol

Out in front

All thumbs up!

Thoughts..

So lately I have been on a mission, but I haven’t really been sure what the mission itself is… I work retail (exhausting 10 hour days) then add a 30 minute commute each way, and basically my days are spent.. & in the mess I have been trying to find things that I enjoy. I love the feeling that a hard work out gives, however- I’m not particularly a HUGE fan of the gym, and that’s only because I need a motivation buddy, or I get bored…. lol Silly, I know!… So I started gathering up all of my scrap booking stuff and really trying to organize ideas to get it all together again. Taking pictures is something I REALLY enjoy- and although I’m definitely not a professional, my favorite part is putting them all together in some sort of creation but again, finding the time to do it, is NOT easy…. I wish I could just find a happy medium…. I guess that’s kinda the point of life right? lol… Hmmm….

Time

There are SERIOUSLY not enough hours in the day. Honest. Between 10 hour shifts. 3 hours of homework, and coordinating Drew & Chad's schedule - having down time is somewhat impossible! First off I AM very grateful that I even have a job- but a damn good paying one at that! & second, the fact that I have the luxury of going to school online so that I can work full time, is enough said. The issue I face is having a positive attitude that the job I am doing- is a means to an end- and that I am not going to get complacent and "stuck". I already SWORE I would never go back to retail, and well that lasted a whole 3 months. lol but a job is a job and school is NOT something that is getting put on hold anymore. I am more determined to finish quickly then I think I've ever been! I can't wait to actually do something I genuinely enjoy! To have a set schedule, summers and holidays off- and most importantly, be on the same schedule as my baby boy! Who, isn't really much of a baby anymore! In a very short time (7 months) that baby boy of mine is going to be turning 6! Where the HECK did the time go? I blinked and he was speaking full sentences (having a very large opinion at that!) ha!

I am so proud of him! The last year hasn't been- well there isn't really a way to explain it. He never seems to amaze me on how strong and independent he is! My heart wouldn't be where it is now if it wasn't for him and Chad. I am one very very VERY blessed girl!! I love just being in company of those two! Most of the time I'm chopped liver when they are together! Just sitting on the couch, or playing the kinect- it warms my heart! :) Not to mention we are pretty much adjusted and moved into the new place-- and it's perfect! I LOVE my home!!! (and the one's in it!!) I thank God daily for the blessing he has brought in my life... and my dad for watching over us and keeping my little man safe!!

Just close your eyes...

I don't know what it is about this song, but I am in awe over it... the sound, the words, it just captures me... 

"Safe & Sound"
(feat. The Civil Wars)

I remember tears streaming down your face
When I said, "I'll never let you go"
When all those shadows almost killed your light
I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound

Don't you dare look out your window darling
Everything's on fire
The war outside our door keeps raging on
Hold onto this lullaby
Even when the music's gone
Gone

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound

Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh. [x2]

Just close your eyes
You'll be alright
Come morning light,
You and I'll be safe and sound...

Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh oh oh. [x7]

Life's all about moments of impact.

Life's all about moments of impact, and how they change our lives forever. But what if one day you could no longer remember any of them?

-Leo "The Vow"

Life is so precious. The people in your life are even more precious. I feel like this, as I am just as guilty,  is taken for granted every single day. When someone you love is taken from you-- it's something no one can explain. Family, friends, the people that we spend our days talking to, hanging out with, weaving into our memories, these relationships are so valuable. The last 7 months have been weird since my dad passed. Days, even weeks, that I don't even remember. My brain and heart were in a state of shock as the doctors I was seeing would say. Going to a counselor every Wednesday to sort out the pieces. My heart was shattered, and I thought I would never fully recover from it. I mean let's face the fact that I WON'T every fully recover from it, but my heart will learn to cope as the pain starts to diminish. This June will be 12 years since I moved from Visalia to Hollister, and then continued my life everywhere else but home over the years- and there are times that I wonder, how different my life would be/would have been had I moved back sooner or never left when I did. It's not to say I regret anything in these last 12 years, but it makes me wonder... June 8th 2000 was the last day of 7th grade, and my last night in Visalia. That very next Friday my stuff was packed up and moved to Hollister, CA even before my soon to be best friends had even finished their 7th grade year. I have made some of the most amazing friends over the years, and also keeping a couple of best friends from my childhood... Everything is about moments. Decisions. Ideas. & where we go with those that defines who we are and who we are going to be. I struggled with my dad over the last 10 years, not being home enough to see him. That's something that I will always have to live with, the moments that I didn't get to spend with him. It's taken me some time to move past that, as I am STILL working on it, and rather than focusing on the "what could have beens" or what "I didn't do" I focus on the good times... The memories... The things I loved the most! Time heals all wounds... I know he's smiling down on me, saying "Mija! You finally listened to your dad and moved back where you belong" lol I miss him so much daily.. okay.. I am done with my tangent.. Just needed to get it off my chest...


X's & O's.... Alesa

A New Year

2012... and all the craziest it may bring! It's barely February--Wait it's halfway through February and I feel like time is zoooooming by!! Drew is growing more and more everyday, sometimes I feel like I BLINK and he's grown! I wish I could slow down time! Being home in Visalia has been amazing... Other than the last 5 months of my pregnancy I haven't lived here in 12 years! It really is home to me.. I do miss little things about Arizona & Monterey... After all, I do have some pretty important family hanging out over there in the desert-- and some pretty amazing friends that have been through some crazy times with me! ;) I miss the beach in Monterey, and the friends I have there... July, August, & September were probably the hardest months I have ever, EVER been through and without the support that was there for me-- I would NOT have made it through... you guys know who you are, and I thank you with all of my heart... it's been 7 months now since my pops left us, and not a day goes by that I don't miss him terribly... some days are easier than others, sometimes I can't fight back the tears, other days I smile remembering little silly things my dad was famous for.... watermelon head ;) haha having my nieces, my brother, chad, my family and Drew around help a TON. And although separated by plenty of miles, the besties are constantly keeping tabs on me ;) I love you guys with all my heart... okay, so now I need to get back to school work- procrastination at it's finest! (too bad I couldn't get paid to procrastinate!) hehehe

Drew & Kylie (Kylie's 3rd Birthday!) & Drewbee & I @ Pebble Beach December 2011

 

Drewbee, Chad & I! Saints vs Niners January 2012!

Love & miss you Daddy... XoXo